


my girl my girl, where will u go

by Anonymous



Category: South Park
Genre: It's Soft, Lowercase, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Prostitution, Sexual Violence, Sleepovers, Smoking, these tags make it sound much less soft than it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: eric thinks. eric thinks maybe it's okay for him to kiss boys if they're kind of girls. and if kenny's sucked a dick or two, and almost died, and bled all over himself mere hours before, that's okay too.
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28
Collections: Anonymous





	my girl my girl, where will u go

**Author's Note:**

> eric cartman is emphatically bi

the first time he sees it, it’s during class. he always skips p.e. kenny usually stays, though, got enough energy in that little skinny body to run laps for days, like that stupid rabbit on that battery commercial. so eric is immediately interested when he sees his short friend duck around the dumpsters behind their high school. maybe he’s going to smoke? eric peers from the corner, then hides behind the dumpsters himself, incredibly interested in what no doubt degenerate behavior his friend is going to indulge in. maybe he'll do some backwoods hick drug the meth lab by his shitty house cooked up. but, instead of watching kenny inject heroin into his eyeballs, he hears steps on the concrete coming from the other side. oh.

he contemplates his situation for a moment, thinks about how it’s probably some girl that’s going to suck kenny’s dick, and how it’s definitely going to be really fucking weird for everyone involved if eric were to just sit there and watch it happen. still, he pokes his head out from behind the dumpster. just one look wouldn’t hurt. that's all porn really is, and he's seen his fair share of that. it's totally not weird to watch your friend get blown.

no amount of internet porn could prepare him for the sight of kenny, _his best friend, kenneth mccormick_ , unzipping some guy’s pants and starting to blow him. the sight physically damages him, the double take he does nearly flings him backwards and he has to grab onto the side of the metal dumpster not to trip over himself. it’s not that he’s under the impression that kenny’s never seen a dick, or that he’s, god forbid, a heterosexual. he’d just never seen anything like it before, he'd never seen kenny make that face before. it feels wrong, but he can't force himself to look away.

there’s probably no harm in watching, just to sate his curiosity. and hey, if kenny’s sucking dick behind the school, he shouldn’t be surprised that some poor, innocent bystander might happen upon his sins. it's his fault, really.

kenny’s knelt down on the concrete, the little pebbles digging into his knees even through the worn denim of his jeans. he’s got one hand resting against the guy’s hip, and the other on his own thigh, and he’s just clenching his fist a little as he goes to town. everyone in their little circle knows this guy. he’s a senior, supposed to have graduated, but got held back. he’s nice enough, polite, and he’s petting kenny’s hair like he’s doing a good job. it’s all pretty uneventful. eric thinks for a second how kenny's hair kind of looks like soft straw.

the guy gets a little excited towards the end, though, and starts pulling kenny closer, making him gasp for hair and let out this gross choking sound that makes eric wince. it sounds like there’s a metal pipe being shoved down his throat or something, like something out of cannibal holocaust. he sees his friend’s skinny arms flail uselessly as he attempts to shove the guy off, but he’s not budging. this dude’s a football player, he could probably carry 6 kennies in one hand. eric feels his palms begin to sweat and all the counseling he had for his “temper issues”, as liane would call them, flies out the window when he sees this guy’s death grip on his friend’s skull. he feels little shockwaves behind his eyes and any attempt at self-control is futile. so, instead, without a thought, he runs out and lunges at the both of them.

the shock of seeing someone eric's size run towards him has the guy essentially shoving ken off of him and onto the ground, so that he can start to tuck his limp dick back into his pants. before he can manage, though, eric’s got a mean left hook connecting a bit wrong with the side of his jaw. eric can’t _exactly_ fight, but he can punch and throw his weight around, which is good enough considering he’s the third tallest in their grade. one of the biggest boys at their school.

the nameless high school senior seems to go through all the options of the fight-flight-freeze response within a second, and eric watches with a grim satisfaction (the kind he should probably feel guilty about) as his face flashes shock, then anger, then fear. he punches the guy in the stomach then turns them around and shoves him away, giving him an opportunity to stumble off to safety. whatever. he turns his attention to his friend.

kenny’s stupid body is crouched on the pavement, and he's watching with interest. his face is wet with drool and tears and there’s a slow stream of blood running from his nose that he’s dragged the back of his hand across and smeared over his cheek. like if mia wallace was an anemic boy in a skirt. his pale eyes scan eric, who stands in front of him, so vast he blocks out the sun. they look at each other. kenny stands up.

“th-,” he tries to speak, then shudders. he coughs for a good 10 seconds. eric just stares at him, heavy breathing slowly returning to normal. finally he collects himself, “thanks, dude,” he says. they’re standing close to each other, and the blond boy’s small hands dart around the pockets of his pants, janky movements made worse by how bad he's shivering, and he pulls out a pack of cigarettes. he grabs one with his teeth, grabs a lighter and offers the pack to eric. he takes one.

maybe it’s that he’s shit at talking to people, and even worse at reading social cues, but eric can’t figure out for the life of him what he’s supposed to say or do, what face he's supposed to make. so he just says “whatever,” and waits for his friend to give him the lighter. but it never comes. instead, kenny gets all in his personal space and lights the thing for him, way too giddy and eager for someone who just narrowly avoided getting his skull crushed. eric looks at his stupid grin with a cig between his teeth, his bloodied cheek and teary eyes. it’s almost nice. so he steps away.

“get your whore juice away from me, kenny” he says, with almost a whine at the end so his friend knows he doesn't mean it. kenny just chuckles, laughs like he's out of breath.

the hot sun makes his clothes cling to him awkwardly, especially after the fact that he just had to punch a guy twice and almost pick him up. he feels sweaty and stiff and weird.

“you know i didn’t skip p.e. so i could beat up your johns,” he says. it’s only half serious. they both lean against the wall of the school, and kenny sinks down to the pavement so he’s crouching again.

“sorry,” he says. then, he fishes some crumpled up bills from his pocket and shoves them at him, “here you go. he gave me a 20,” and then he turns around and looks up at eric in earnest, “you can have half.”

true to his word, eric is left with a nasty 10 dollar bill. he doesn’t refuse it, though he wants to. it’s more that the entire ordeal has his head spinning in ways he didn’t expect it to. it's almost fucking disgusting how sweet kenny can be. because they're in fucking south park, because no one here looks you in the eye, so why does ken treat him like that?

sometimes eric knows how people expect him to react to things. he knows exactly what he 'would' say in any given situation, what his lines are, what he's supposed to do. and sometimes there’s something inside of him that makes him do just that. so he does: “why would you suck some guy’s dick for money anyway?” he asks, trying to sound incredulous. he isn't.

kenny knows him, thankfully, knows he’s faking. but he plays along. there’s this push and pull between them, where eric wants to be seen but can’t show it, and kenny has to pretend to just barely catch glimpses. so he does.

“kevin got laid off cause they caught him drinking meth piss in the bathroom at work,” he tells his friend. he takes a minute to snort in amusement at the thought, and then continues, “and since they guillotined jeff bezos on tv, stuart’s been ‘protesting’,” he does air-quotes at this, “by sitting on the couch and drinking beer all day and _not_ working.”

eric listens to his friend and nods along. they both crawled out of the same pit, so it’s easier to talk about this sort of thing with each other. he gets it. he takes a lazy drag from his cigarette, watches kenny nervously smoke and tap at the end of his. the hot sun hits his head in a way that makes him want to lie down on the pavement and turn to rot.

“and karen’s summer shoes broke, so she needs new ones, so,” and they look at each other some more, “a whole lotta shit,” he concludes. he stands up, still shivering, and eric thinks of bambi. skinny, clumsy whore bambi on wobbly legs.

“anyway," kenny says, dusting the dirt and gross off his knees, "why were you spying on me? you get off on watching your friends suck dick?” and the energy of the conversation immediately gets airlight as eric snorts and shoves at his friend’s shoulder gently.

“you fucking wish. if it wasn’t for my heroic presence, your sorry ass would be feeding all the rats and snakes and shit that live here. i was just doing my civic duty.”

kenny hums in agreement. they stomp out the butts of their cigarettes.

“thanks.”

then, a small realization flashes across kenny’s features as his eyes widen.

“dude,” he says, and he digs his hand into his jacket pocket and produces a black leather wallet. they both look down at it in awe as kenny opens it, “i forgot i grabbed this.”

“ _fucking_ christ, kenny.”

there’s at least $100 cash in there, and the guy’s library card and some shitty gym membership. kenny pulls out the money and pockets the wallet again before counting it. again, he halves it, and shoves close to $60 at eric. this time, it's more an effort to make them accomplices in robbing someone than an act done from the goodness of his heart. and eric's never refused participation points.

that night, when eric invites himself over and crawls into kenny’s bedroom through the window (half-breaks it in the process like he always does), kenny’s sitting up in his bed like he’s waiting. eric sleeps over whenever his house is too suffocating, when he can’t stand to be in there anymore or when he can’t be alone. it’s just how things are. he moves to the side so his friend’s larger form can fit onto the mattress with him, lets eric steal as much of the blanket as he needs.

then, when they’re settled down, kenny on his side facing eric, who’s on his back staring at the ceiling, kenny asks him: “what’s up?”

the boy is silent for a moment, brow furrowed as if he doesn’t want to even let himself think about it. then, he huffs with frustration and turns around to face the other, still frowning.

“did that,” eric starts, emphasis on _‘that’_ , “ever happen before?” 

a stubborn part of him is almost tempted to make eric say exactly what he’s talking about, but he feels how tightly wound his friend is, so he just shuffles a bit closer and thinks about it for a second.

“a few times,” kenny says, quiet, and then, “two or three times.”

“why do you keep doing it?” eric asks. shit. that’s not what he means. what he means is: how do you do it? and, i don’t want you to be hurt, and, let me make it better. but he can’t say that.

“i dunno,” kenny tells him. he stares at his friend’s face in the darkness, reading him in that way only he can. he touches his arm to comfort him, “i gotta, for a little bit,” he whispers, “and then that’ll be the end of it.”

it’s not that kenny’s a whore, eric already knew that. and that term is as useless as any other that tries to police sexuality through the lens of “morals”. it’s the fact that kenny seems unfazed by some guy wailing on him to the point of him nearly dying on the pavement for some cash. it’s the fact that kenny’s got the brightest eyes in the whole town, but ends up fucked (figuratively and literally _fucked_ ) by assholes with no souls at all who feel entitled to do what they want.

he feels kenny moving around and getting closer, so he forces himself to stop thinking, get out of his own head, so he can wrap a large arm around him and hold him there. so he can feel the bird bones of kenny's shoulder. kenny’s smaller hand comes up and touches eric’s cheek. he rubs at the skin there gently, making the boy’s face heat up. it’s almost funny how innocent it feels between them. it's almost gross. kenny’s face is right in front of his now, and he presses his lips to eric so softly that death would cry if it could see. he strokes his friend’s cheek gently as he kisses him, slow and languid, so accommodating and comfortable. and eric feels like he might jump out of his skin with how much he’s feeling. the best he can do is press kenny flush against him, hold them together so that maybe they’ll melt into one another. or something.

they kiss like that for hours, he thinks, they kiss until the sun comes up. somewhere in the middle, they come apart, and kenny stares at him.

“do you wanna be my boyfriend?” he asks. eric nods, feels stupid about just nodding, then whispers out a ‘yeah’ and feels stupid about that, and finally just kisses him again.

kenny’s eyes look tired and the morning light makes all the little freckles across his face visible, so eric kisses those as well. he kisses his neck, too, and kenny plays with his hair as he does and lets out a delighted little sigh. those fingers rubbing and scratching his hair make him feel so calm that he feels like he could sleep for a week. it’s the weekend, so they might as well. he shoves down all the self doubt that threatens to spill out of him again, determined to spend the rest of his day in bed, kissing his new boygirlfriend, pretending they're somewhere else.

**Author's Note:**

> idk man i keep having this dream


End file.
